2018.

Hello!

Wow, it's been an awfully long time since I posted anything on here.  Life very much got in the way, and there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day!

Seeing as it is fast approaching 2019 (I started this post on 31st December but ran out of time), I am in a very reflective mood and wanted to write more than I could in a Tweet or an Instagram post.  So, sit back and relax.... here goes:

If you do follow me on Instagram, or even more so on Twitter, you will already know that I like a good moan, and 2018 provided a few things for me to moan about.  There were definitely lows, however, I'm not going to dwell on those too much and focus on the highs, the things I have gained in 2018, and the moments I have enjoyed.

The start of 2018 was definitely a huge low at the time, with the end of a fairly long relationship.  I am so grateful to family, friends, and even strangers on the internet who sent me kind messages and helped me through the initial first few weeks.  Some of these strangers have even become great friends 😃.

Following some great advice from several people, I used the break up as a chance to start looking after number one. I hadn't put myself first in a very long time, and I was free to start enjoying myself again without feeling guilty.  I don't mean going out on the town and getting drunk every weekend, but just doing more things with friends, going on trips, going on adventures and just generally doing more.  One of the first things I did was join the gym (although I didn't actually end up going much, and cancelled the membership, but it was a step forward at the time).

Before I really get into the year, 2018 was definitely the year of me enjoying a Snapchat filtered selfie.. so here are my favourites from the year:

Anyway, enough of my face and back to the story of my 2018.  One of the best things to come out of 2018, and with pushing myself to try new things in mind, was curling.  I took part in a try curling session in March.  My colleague and friend Natasha came with me, and we both really enjoyed it.

From Instagram: So continuing on with me trying new things and keeping myself busy, I tried out Curling yesterday. They make it look so easy on the tv... On my very first attempt at sliding, I landed flat on my stomach 😂. It was great fun though. My stomach and thigh muscles are hurting right now.  Who'd have thought it would have been such a workout! Definitely going again.. 😂

We did indeed go again, and again... and in the end we joined two curling clubs and are still playing now!  It feels really good to be learning something new and feel yourself improving.  We still take the occasional lesson from time to time as we are still very new to the sport, and it stops us from developing any bad habits.

March also saw me join the big bad world of online dating.  I never thought I would have to date again, so thought I would never have to try out this 'Tinder' thing that I had heard lots of people talking about.  But here I was, downloading it.  I live in a very remote area and know everyone around, so I decided I would take it to work and have a look when I was there (at lunch time obviously..) as I hoped there would be a few more men to look through!  Anyway, long story short, between March and August, I chatted to several guys, went on a few dates (don't get me wrong, I did have some good times, but evidently nothing worked out!), went though many emotions and didn't really enjoy the whole experience at all.

This year I have been on quite a few fun trips with Natasha: Braehead, Caerlaverock and Purrple Cat Cafe, as well as plenty of curling evenings at her house!

April was a fun month!  I went on a trip to Glasgow with Natasha and we went trampolining at Braehead.  We then had a game of mini golf, which Natasha won pretty convincingly!  April also included a lovely trip to Blackpool with Suzie, my first trip away to anywhere other than Glasgow in a long long time.  This was a huge thing, and a step forward in the sense of me looking after number one!  Even though we were only there for two nights, we managed to fit in quite a bit: visiting Madame Tussauds, the Sealife Centre, the Dungeons and the pier/arcades.  On one of the hook a duck stalls on the pier I won myself an Elmo cuddly toy, and he turned into my travel buddy.

Following on from a fun April, May included a few exciting things also.  I went to a try curling session in Stirling with Hannah.  Receiving coaching from some talented and established curlers was very valuable, and I was given a Scottish Curling keyring and box of chocolates for playing well in our group on the day, so that was a nice added bonus.  I had a few days off work in May with the way the rota worked, so decided to take myself off up to Glasgow and have a couple of nights there.  I met up with Suzie on one of the days and we went for a nice meal and a couple of cocktails, and I engaged in some retail therapy!  Another highlight from May was a visit to Carlisle with some of my work colleagues, for some food and a trip to the Sands Centre to watch Menopause the Musical, which was very entertaining!  Continuing on with the musical theme, Natasha and I went to see 'A Spoonful of Sherman' which is a musical based around the songwriting Sherman brothers who have written songs for movies such as Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Winnie the Pooh and Mary Poppins.

In June I had another day trip with Natasha, this time we went to Caerlaverock Castle - we had a lot of fun and hilarity trying on some of the costumes - Drummuir Ice Cream (yum!) and Routin Bridge, which has become a place I enjoy visiting now I know about it.

Routin Bridge and the surrounding area.

A yearly event held in Dumfries is Guid Nychburris and amazingly, I had never actually attended before.  That changed in 2018 (another first!) as I watched the Kingholm Gallop, and then the Parade.  Luckily the raik dried up in time for the parade!

One perk of my work is occasionally we get the opportunity to go to events and represent the company.  In 2018 I attended the European Championships in Glasgow, the World Pipe Band Championships also in Glasgow, and Foodies Festival which was held at Tatton Park.  While all these events were fun to attend, the trip down to Tatton Park, and the nightly wander around Knutsford in search of food was my favourite.  It helped that the weather was lovely too!

Some pictures from my trip down to Knutsford & Tatton Park.

I had another nice day out in Glasgow in July, with Hannah.  We went for a delicious meal at ASK Italian, did some shopping, and watched Stephen Mulhern doing some filming for a tv show in Buchanan Galleries.  Looking back, I definitely did lots more in the first half of 2018 than I had done in the whole of the last few years, so this was all great.  It really helped me moving forward, getting out and about, doing things, and seeing my friends.

It was my 28th birthday in August, and I'm not going to lie, I didn't enjoy it very much.  I felt very sad, cried a lot and just felt like there was going to be no end to the tinder dating cycle.  I felt like I was never going to achieve what I wanted, I felt like I was getting old with nothing to show for it and I just felt really, really low.

I am so glad I had something huge to look forward to in September - a holiday to Fuerteventura with Suzie.  I was taking a break from Tinder - it wasn't putting me in a good place mentally, and I was just coming across people who didn't know what they wanted, and I felt like relationship was a dirty word. This is what I wrote on instagram before I went on holiday, and sums up how I had been feeling:

I very often find myself awake at stupid o'clock, mainly because I don't go to bed early because I find it the loneliest place to be, and my mind can be very active when I try & sleep!So while I lie here feeling a bit sad, here's my thoughts & what's going on in my head tonight... For a while, I didn't really let anyone into my head, until the start of 2018 when major changes happened in my life. I started to share because things simply got too much to bottle up, and to the people who I have opened up to, and who have listened, I am so grateful.It's quite easy to put on a smile or pretend in messages that you are happy, but deep down I know quite often I'm not & sometimes I'm even struggling to hold back tears.Sometimes I wish I felt as happy as I pretended to be. Don't get me wrong.. sometimes I AM happy & manage to clear my head, usually when I have something to focus on or look forward to.Life seems to be very much highs & lows right now and being single definitely doesn't help much!On the whole, the dating scene hasn't been great for me, and it's certainly not really getting anywhere right now, or helping with my state of mind.. mainly because I'm not really playing the game like some can do, and because I put in 100%, leaving me open & vulnerable to feeling very low when things don't end up anywhere, usually questioning what is wrong with me or what I did wrong, and because my brain focuses in on the negatives rather than good times I have had (I HAVE had some nice times). I know everyone has their reasons, it's just how this whole dating thing works. Quite honestly though, it sucks. That's also not to say that I haven't been the one deciding not to continue things, because it IS allowed, but I have to say, mostly it has been the other way round.Hey, one day I'll find someone who I click with and one day that person will like me enough to stick around! 🙂 ...and if you made it to the end, and also haven't pressed the unfollow button, then thank you 💜🙂.

But now, onto one of the biggest things that happened in 2018.  I went on a plane for the very first time in my life!  I wasn't sure if I would enjoy it or be terrified as I am not really a fan of heights.  I was a little apprehensive, but the thought of where I was going, and the sunshine kept my mind off it, and I actually enjoyed it!  The accommodation was amazing, we stayed in a really nice apartment about a minute away from the beach.  The weather was gorgeous, and I enjoyed not being cold and being able to wear dresses each day.  On one of the days we took an excursion out to Oasis Park which was an animal park about an hour away from Caleta de Fuste where we were staying. We enjoyed exploring the surrounding area, and relaxing on the beach and by the pool.  Here are some pictures from my holiday (there are lots more on my Instagram feed (HERE) if you are interested in seeing more holiday spam):

The holiday went by really fast, but it was really nice to get away from everything and just relax and have a great time.  For a few days, my mind was completely empty of worries and sadness, it was lovely.  When I returned to Scotland, I had a few days of work and then I had my first competitive curling match, so I was definitely succeeding in keeping myself busy!  I was really nervous beforehand,  but I needn't have worried too much because everyone was really friendly and I was made to feel more than welcome.  Sadly, we lost our very first match as a rink, 7-6.

October next!  Another month, and another trip to Glasgow.  This time it was back again with Natasha, and we visited the Purrple Cat Cafe.  We both have cats, but it was nice to go and meet lots of other cats.

Some of the Purrple Cat Café residents.

10th October is a date which will definitely stick in my mind for a very long time.  I had gone on to twitter the day before to ask my friends/followers whether I should go back to Tinder, or try another online dating site such as Bumble or Match.  I felt like my break from online dating had been long enough and I was ready for the rollercoaster again.  One of my followers from the FPL (Fantasy Premier League) twitter community - AUSFPL - picked up on this and posted the following tweet:

Ok guys, the community has been down in the dumps lately, & it’s currently int’l break, what better way than to spread some fpl magic about. We need to find Em a suitable partner. Below is everything U need to know about her, so show some love and RT & lets follow her journey😂😂 https://t.co/sSjrxla2vS

— AUSFPL (@AUSFPL) October 10, 2018

My twitter went a little crazy and I had lots of people wishing me well, and trying to help me find a man.  Now, after my unsuccessful months on Tinder - an actual dating site - I was less than convinced this would come up with anything, however, I was willing to go along with it all!  Later on in the day I received a private message from someone and after a few days chatting and getting to know each other a bit better, we decided to arrange something.  Now, one thing I said I wasn't going to do was to ever be in another long distance relationship because of my previous one being very unhappy for me.  The person I had agreed to do something with was living in Wales, so for me to agree to that was another huge step forward.  Going against everything that we are told to do - meeting up with a stranger off the internet, at their house, in the middle of nowhere - we planned for me to go to Wales (the furthest I have driven on my own as well) and stay with him (and also meet the parents at the same time!).  Like I mentioned in my instagram post above, I put in 100% so I wasn't at all bothered about having to travel, but it was all very daunting and I was extremely nervous.  We messaged every single day from the 10th October to the 31st October when I drove down to Wales, and I got more and more excited because with every single message we sent, we seemed to click a tiny bit more, and I definitely liked what I was reading. Luckily he didn't turn out to be anything other than what I was expecting - phew!  The day after I travelled down, we went on our proper first date - a road trip to Alton Towers!  I was amazed I agreed to this also, as I'm not a big fan of rollercoasters (I am very much a wuss), but I thought it would be at least a very memorable day out if nothing else.  My sat-nav thought it would be amusing to take us the scenic route to Alton Towers and took us down some tiny country lanes, but we made it eventually!!  I managed a couple of rollercoasters - it would have been a couple more, but Rita broke down after we had been waiting in the queue for a while, and later on, it had got really cold, so we didn't fancy an hour long queue for the Wickerman.  The trip to Alton Towers also coincided with its yearly Scarefest - so we had tickets to do the scare mazes too.    The scare mazes were definitely an experience, and rather scary at the time, but once we had completed them, they were funny to look back on!  I basically went though as quick as possible (along with everyone else) spending half the time laughing and half the time screaming.  At one point, a zombie even had hold of my hair for what felt like an age.  It was definitely an epic first date!

Given the distance, the circumstances and the fact we both felt like we were on the same wavelength and wanted very similar things, I left Wales with a new boyfriend!  Haha it still feels very weird to write that.  Most people will say that that is ridiculously quick, but we had already spoken for 3 weeks solid, had a great first date and got on really well in person!  Besides, who needs convention.  To this day, we have not gone a single day (and usually not more than a few hours) without messaging or having a phone call.  I can't describe how happy he makes me feel, other than I feel like I am going to explode with happiness whenever I think about him (which is a lot)!

A trip up to Glasgow to see the Courteeners has become a yearly event since I first went to see them in 2010.  They are my favourite band and they never fail to put on a great show.  I have been to see them at the o2 academy, Barrowlands, and the Hydro over the years, as well as an acoustic gig by the lead singer Liam Fray at King Tuts.  The gig this year was at the Hydro and before they came on stage, they had a piper play Flower of Scotland which was a nice surprise.

December was another great month. Not only was everywhere all Christmassy, but I was also going to be seeing Simon again (ah yes, he has a name!) and for almost a whole week!  He came to visit me up here in Scotland on the 15th December and we had a lovely week together just enjoying each others company.  After talking so much since the very first day he messaged me, it was just so nice to have time together in person.  I showed him some of the sights, we went on a couple of nice walks in the countryside, and we met up with my mum too.  We had a pre-Christmas Christmas, where we exchanged cards and gifts - I received the most thoughtful presents and I will cherish them forever 🎔.  Natasha and Matt invited us round to theirs for tea one night, we all went and played pool, Simon had a game of FIFA against Natasha, and we played the card game Shithead, so that was fun.  We also visited a few of the restaurants in Dumfries and had some nice meals.  We only managed to take one picture with each other the whole time, we were just having too much fun, it was the last thing on our mind!  It is a nice picture though and it makes me smile every time I look at it!  I would like a couple more photos from next time we are together though, as they are nice to look back on.


💓

The week went by really quickly and in no time at all, it was time for me to take Simon to the station for him to go home.  That was hard.  I hate goodbyes but managed to hold it together until I got to the car.  Just as I had composed myself again and got to work, my colleague Fiona asked me how I was and that nearly started me off all over again!  This quote summed up my feelings though on that morning:

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard" - Winnie the Pooh.

I feel incredibly lucky that I am finishing 2018 being able to call this amazing person my boyfriend.  He is all I imagined and more.  You know when you just feel such a deep connection to someone and they make you so happy - well that's how I feel.  Each and every day I fall a little bit more for him, and while it is kind of terrifying, I would not change it for the world.  If you had told me this time last year that I would feel this way, I would not have believed you.  All the people that told me 'it will happen when you least expect it' and 'what's for you wont go by you' etc.. were indeed right.  I am counting down the days until my return trip to Wales in mid January, and I am so excited.  What a difference a year makes.

For Hogmanay I went out for a meal with Natasha, Matt and Matt's mum, and then had a games night at their house.  It was an enjoyable way to end the year and welcome in 2019.

So there you have it.  2018 was a year of highs and lows.  Little things happened. Big things happened. I finished the year extremely happy, in love and very much looking forward to everything that I have planned for 2019.  💜